Like most people who have recently come out of a marriage or long term relationship, you will be wary about trying again. The truth is that you will have many hurdles to overcome and that it isn’t going to be an easy road. However dating again after a divorce is a necessary and worthwhile thing to do – eventually. As a person in your 30’s, 40s and 50’s you still have plenty of years ahead and you want to spend them with someone you love. Online dating might just provide a great way to do just that.
Follow these dating after divorce rules and make sure that you avoid some of the pitfalls:
Give it a while
A divorce is very much like a bereavement. You feel grief at the loss of the relationship and the future you had hoped for. It isn’t easy to get over and you need to give yourself time to do so. The amount of time is dependent on the circumstance of your divorce, but anything from six months to one year is common before dating resumes.
When you do decide to date again, try going out with a few people just as friends. It will help you to ease back into the dating lifestyle and build up your confidence. Dating may be something which you left behind many years ago and learning how to flirt and what to do on a date can take a while.
Try not to talk about your ex
It is wise to keep conversations about your ex to a minimum, especially if the feelings are still raw. You could end up coming across as bitter and not over it yet and that is not a good start to a new relationship. It is wise to tell your new partner about your ex, but make it clear that it is all in the past and is going to stay that way.
Try something different
Try not to look for a new partner who is similar to your ex. The fact is that you divorced for a good reason and you should be looking for someone who is entirely new and fresh. In order to get something different from your relationship, you need to try a new approach. Make sure you learn from your mistakes.
Don’t be scared
One of the main reasons people avoid dating after a divorce is because they are frightened they will meet the wrong person and repeat the whole thing over again. You need to give yourself more credit. A divorce is a challenging time and you cannot go through it without learning some very harsh lessons. You will naturally apply those to future relationships. Trust your intuition and know that you are very capable of choosing your next partner carefully and with thought.
Dating after divorce is much more fun that you could ever imagine. You are free, maybe for the first time in many years to experiment, date regularly, meet all kinds of new people and do things you may never have thought of. Take the bull by the horns and live your new life.
Lyndon Ogden is a writer on relationships and owner of age related dating websites such as www.over40datingsite.co.uk for the over forties market.